“Easily Led”, we say, as though a person’s will is so weak, or their character so deficient as to be incapable of independent thought.  But what if they are merely seeking to shortcut the wilderness, what if they are looking to others to fulfill the words of the Ancient One over their lives? What if the voices of the worldly ones have become so loud that a partial fulfillment begins to look like fullness?

These words have been ringing in my head these past few days, as I have wrestled my mind towards some kind of clarity. In some senses I have been very easily led, not in the sense that you would find me a particularly good follower (I’m not), but rather that I will follow any compelling course, or person, that offers me a sliver of what I seek; recognition, belonging, a tribe, meaning.  This particular “defect of character” has introduced me to groups I would never join, and to endeavours that always seemed a bit ill-fitting, but at which I was, nevertheless, proficient.  However easily led I may have been over the decades, I have always, whenever the shine wears off, or the promised tribe doesn’t materialize, come back to this, to writing, to sharing a Story in the hope that it would serve, to a truer Identity in the One Who Speaks Life over me.

I am in one of those seasons again, where I have come back around the merry-go-round to the same place of dissatisfaction.  Only this time, I am committing to dig in. I commit to doing the work of the wilderness, to bringing into light those things that have compelled me to seek Other than my Saviour for recognition, validation, and fulfillment.  A dear friend challenged me to write daily, just get it down on paper (or screen, seriously, my handwriting is appalling!), and perhaps I will publish some of it, but, for now, it is time to reacquaint myself with the girl in my head.

It is time to sit in the Silence, allow the Still Small Voice to speak, and to listen.

Will you sit with me?

A.